love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
