i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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