angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
