we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
