I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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