Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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