So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
