would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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