She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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