I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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