I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
