I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
