Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
