The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
