I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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