i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
