I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My first STD was from a foam party
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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