yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We need to get me chipped asap
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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