I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
