I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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