hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize