its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
