Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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