do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
