I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
