you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
