I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
