This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
