do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
