how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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