You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
