i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
