tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
