Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
