I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
