How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
