I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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