It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
