Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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