Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
