Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
