your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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