he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
