Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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