Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Holy shit dude........stairs
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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