Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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