So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
