All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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