god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I came so hard my ears popped.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
