I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
