There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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