so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
